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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28264281">Christmas Mischief</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/joggerfive/pseuds/joggerfive'>joggerfive</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Zombies Run!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Friendship, Gen, Gender-Neutral Runner Five</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:40:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,167</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28264281</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/joggerfive/pseuds/joggerfive</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>My Discord Secret Santa gift for NotebooksnShoelaces!<br/>Simon and Five become christmassy Township Troublemakers™ and bring some festive cheer to Abel with a few pranks and surprises! Set in S1/S2.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Simon Lauchlan &amp; Runner Five</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Christmas Mischief</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Hello there, my dearest Five.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Runner Five looked up from their notebook towards the doorway of the rec room. Simon swaggered in then slammed himself down on the couch next to Five with a grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where did you even get a Santa hat?” Five wondered aloud, reaching over to Simon’s head to touch the white pom-pom that was dangling from the top.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon playfully swatted their hand away before it could reach the hat. “I shall answer your question with another question. Are you up for some festive mischief?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With a glint in their eye, Five immediately shut their notebook as their reply.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>“Jesus, it’s cold out here,” Simon complained, “even on the move, I’m bloody freezing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five shook their head as they picked up a dirty shirt from the side of the road. It would be good as new after a wash. They shoved it in their bag and quickly caught up with Simon once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re just grumpy because Sam made you take off your Santa hat.” Five replied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At the mention of his name, the radio operator’s voice started coming through the runners’ headsets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It made your headset sit all weird! I’m not having you lose vital equipment in the name of Christmas spirit.” Sam rebutted indignantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon gave a fake cough, then mumbled the word “grinch”. Five smirked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey! I am not a grinch! I love Christmas!” Sam replied, sounding offended. “In fact, when I was a kid-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five startled as Simon gave their arm a couple of taps to grab their attention. Sam continued his story into their ears as Three pointed towards a street. Five nodded silently in response. Time for part one of the plan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sam,” Simon started with a smirk, “What was that about geese? You’re breaking up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? No, I said trees</span>
  <em>
    <span>.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Sam replied, coming through perfectly clearly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bees? What have bees got to do with Christmas?” Three acted as confused as he could, furrowing his eyebrows together even though Sam couldn’t see him.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Trees!</span>
  </em>
  <span> I was saying how my family would choose a Christmas tree together!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Choose a what? And it was free?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A </span>
  <em>
    <span>tree!</span>
  </em>
  <span> And I didn’t say it was free!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon tried to keep the grin off his face as he looked over at Five, “Sorry Sammy boy, you’re breaking up. I guess we’ll just have to hear your story about the free geese and bees later on, hey?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There are no geese </span>
  <em>
    <span>or</span>
  </em>
  <span> bees!” Sam exclaimed, before properly taking in what Simon said, “Wait, you can’t hear me? You should be able to, we haven’t had any problems in this area before-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-am. I –an’t hea- you.” Simon spoke in fragments, pretending to get cut off. Five gave a quiet scoff at the ridiculous attempt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What? Three? Five? Can you still hear me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five looked over at Simon with an incredulous look on their face. They couldn’t believe it was actually working.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ca- -ear –ou.” Simon continued.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Guys? Oh God, why can’t you hear me? Has a wire come loose? I knew I shouldn’t have cleaned in here!” A slight amount of panic started to become present in Sam’s voice, causing a small pang of guilt in Five’s chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Runner Three let out a last few incoherent syllables before turning off his headset and motioning for Five to do the same. When he saw Five’s expression, he sighed and turned off theirs for them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, stop your worrying, Five. He’ll be fine.” Simon shrugged, “Come on, it’s this way.” He turned down the street on the left, instead of the route straight ahead that Sam had originally planned for them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We could’ve told him, you know.” Five mumbled, but followed Simon regardless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He would’ve ratted us out and you know it.” He rolled his eyes when Five looked at him with an expression like they’d just hurt a harmless little puppy. Which was kind of how they felt. “Come on, this is for the Christmas spirit! Just a quick stop at this shop and then we can tell Sam we’re okay. Only a few stragglers in our way and we’ve dealt with much worse, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five gave a reluctant nod, “Fine.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon gave a loud whoop and a fist pump, which put a smile back on Five’s face, as they ran towards their destination.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>“Why do these places even exist?” Five asked once they were inside the shop, poking a bobblehead of Santa to make it nod. “Surely they didn’t get any business for ten months out of the year.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon called out his answer from the other side of the store, “Yeah, but I bet the two months they did get business were booming.” On the last word, a couple of bells made a loud noise as a toy fell to the ground, Simon yelling out a quick ‘sorry!’ as he picked the elf back up and put it on its rightful place on the shelf.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two runners were currently grabbing supplies from a Christmas shop aptly titled ‘Christmas Galore’, which although it appeared to be barren in a few areas (the clothes and candle sections mostly) it still had most of its contents covered in dust. Seemed like kitsch holiday items were not the most necessary thing to scavenge at the end of the world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, look!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five whipped their head up from the Nativity display they were looking at just in time to catch the flying scrap of red fabric that was thrown their way. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Now we can match!” Simon said happily. Five looked in their hands and saw a Santa hat. Slightly smaller than Simon’s, but it would do. They went to try it on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t put it on now, you dolt.” Simon remarked as he shoved something into his bag, “Don’t think we would’ve found festive clothing in the pharmacy Sam thought we were going to.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five shrugged, “Maybe someone at the pharmacy was really into Christmas.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright smartie pants, if you wanna wear it then fine, but you’re doing the explaining.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They gave Simon a glare before relenting and shoving the hat into their pack instead. The pair continued to grab whatever festive items they could as Simon whistled some Christmas songs to himself.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Runner Five left their bunk on Christmas day with a spring in their step and a poorly concealed smirk on their face. Late last night, the secret santas had been putting festive touches all around Abel whilst trying not to wake anyone up. Five thought back to the moment they’d both tried to sneak into the kitchen through the window and Simon’s foot had gotten caught on the wood, causing him to land on his back with a loud thump, and bit their lip to contain their laughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Speak of the devil, as soon as Five entered the kitchen, their companion was already sitting at a table (Santa hat and all) with a mug in his hands.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning and a very merry Christmas, dear Five!” He greeted with a huge grin.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five simply nodded as they sat down next to him. They were less of a morning person, but they’d make an exception for one day out of the year.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon took this as a reply and continued, “Where’s your hat then? Thought we were gonna be matching.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five looked confused for a moment, “My hat?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” He replied, “I got you a hat. Did you lose it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their face stayed the same for a few seconds, but they cracked when they saw Simon’s crestfallen expression. Reaching into their back pocket, they retrieved their Santa hat and put it on with a cheeky smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon gave a chuckle, “Had me there for a second. Thought my partner in crime had given up on me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They were about to respond when Simon looked over at another table, brimming with excitement. Five followed their gaze, only to be chastised.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t make it too obvious!” Simon hissed, “Act natural.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two mischief makers gave as many casual glances as they could to the other side of the room as Sam walked in, still looking half asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sam’s eyes widened as he saw the huge box on the table and slowly approached it. Three and Five watched as Sam read the label that was on top, which addressed the present to him. The box was big enough that it covered up Sam’s entire body from view as he sat behind it, making the troublemakers slightly upset that they couldn’t see their victim’s face. However, they knew it wouldn’t be a problem for long.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They watched as Sam (or just Sam’s arms, from their perspective) quickly opened the first box, then halted before pulling out a slightly smaller - but still quite large – box. Next, when that box was opened, another one was inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Over the next few minutes, Five had resorted to covering their mouth with their hand to ensure no giggles escaped and Three was pretending to take frequent sips from his now empty mug to hide his grin. There was a small group gathering around Sam as he continued to open the boxes and more boxes would reveal themselves. He was now on his seventh box, and his expression had changed from glee, to confusion, to annoyance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The final box was about the size of the palm of Sam’s hand and the fervour with which he opened it showed just how done he was with the whole farce. After all the fuss, he held up a tiny SD card between his thumb and forefinger, looking over it with distrust as if he expected it to also have something even smaller inside. There was a note attached, which had been folded as many times as it could to be as compact as possible. The note read:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thought this would be a useful gift. Merry Christmas! From, Santa.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Three and Five watched with delight as Sam read and reread the note multiple times, seemingly only getting more confused. Eventually, the crease between his eyebrows left and he let out a chuckle as he looked to his right and saw the ridiculous amount of empty boxes and wrapping paper on the floor, then pocketed the SD card. He looked around the room with narrowed eyes, seemingly looking for a culprit, making Three and Five tear their gazes away from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How about we go see our next lucky contestant, eh, Five?” Simon said quickly as he saw Sam rise from his seat, probably to go interrogate people about his gift.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With that, the two scurried out of the kitchen, finally letting out all their laughter once they were alone.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>On their way to their next destination, they caught sight of Janine shouting up orders to one of the guards, who was up on a ladder desperately trying to grab something that was seemingly tied above the gates that allowed people in and out of Abel.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon instantly changed direction to head towards Janine, his smirk flawlessly changing to a concerned expression as he approached. Five tried their best to copy him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jenny, what’s up?” Three asked as they got close, “Something wrong with the gates?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janine turned around, her red cheeks almost rivalling the red plaid shirt she was wearing. She looked aggravated and tired at the same time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It seems </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone</span>
  </em>
  <span> thought it would be funny to tie some… mistletoe above the gates.” She said snippily, staring upwards at the object in question with a grimace.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon let out a chuckle, “And </span>
  <em>
    <span>that’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> why you’re making poor Jacob here stand at the top of a ladder in the freezing cold on Christmas morning? Come on, it’s obviously just a bit of fun.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janine folded her arms as she scowled, “‘A bit of fun’, is it? It may be Christmas but we still have runners scheduled to go out today, and this…” she pointed up at the mistletoe, “</span>
  <em>
    <span>thing</span>
  </em>
  <span> will cause nothing but chaos.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five bit their lip to try and hide their smile as Simon replied, “Chaos? It’s just a bit of fake plant that lets people give kisses scot-free. That’s it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When someone comes back through the gates, their first port of call is to go straight to the hospital for bite checks, not to…” Her nose scrunched up, “kiss someone. What if the person coming in is bitten? And the mistletoe malarkey gives them a few extra minutes to hide their bite? What if the person that’s bitten kisses another person?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon hummed in thought, “I don’t think that someone that’s bitten kissing someone else that </span>
  <em>
    <span>isn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> bitten would cause the other person to become a zom too. I don’t know though. Haven’t exactly been doing any kissing research.” His eyes lit up as he saw an opportunity, “Maybe we could do some research, ey, Jenny? Strictly for scientific purposes, of course. For the greater good of the township.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janine’s eyes widened, her cheeks once pink from the cold and exasperation now blushing for a completely different reason. “Would you like to take over from Mr. Quinn?” She asked Simon, gesturing to the man that was still trying to grab the mistletoe but couldn’t reach due to the fact that the ladder was too small. (Luckily, Five had the forethought to hide the taller ladder that Simon had used to hang the mistletoe up, and it was currently in one of the barns.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon paused for a few seconds as he feigned thinking, “No, I don’t think I’d like that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then I’d suggest you leave swiftly. Before I make you do so.” Janine concluded.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Righty-o!” Three replied, giving her a wink before turning away, “Good luck up there, mate!” He shouted up to the guard, who didn’t give a reply. (At least one loud enough that Simon could hear.) Three and Five began to walk away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Si?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both turned around as they heard Janine speak once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?” He replied non-chalantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How do you know the plant is fake?” She asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon paused, “What’s that, Jenny?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You said ‘a bit of fake plant’ when referring to the mistletoe.” She said calmly, “How do you know it’s fake? I can’t tell from down here. How can you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He quickly scoffed, “Well, it’s obvious, isn’t it? Where’s someone going to find real mistletoe anywhere these days?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Janine seemed to ponder his answer for a while, staring him down for multiple moments. Five was glad that steel gaze wasn’t on them, they weren’t sure they could handle the pressure as well as their partner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I suppose that’s true.” Janine conceded, though she still seemed suspicious. “Very well.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Three took the answer happily, grabbing Five’s arm as he began to walk away from the scene of the crime once more. “See ya later, love!” He shouted as him and Five scurried away as quickly as possible.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Throughout the day, people started reporting more instances of Christmas mischief.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the hospital, there was tinsel of all different colours lining each cot. Maxine removed it from beds that were currently being used, just in case a patient tried to stand up and got their leg caught, but happily left the empty beds decorated, enjoying the little bit of brightness it brought to the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jody had been gifted a single knitting needle, with a vague clue to tell her where the next one was hidden which caused her to go on a wild goose chase around the township.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Multiple people saw animals in the farmyard wearing festive hats and headbands, though most of them had wrestled them off by afternoon.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sara had been gifted a bottle of whiskey, but a padlock on the top prevented her from opening it. There was a riddle attached saying what the combination was, but instead Simon and Five saw her asking around for a hammer or a crowbar.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the individual jars and tins in the kitchen cupboards had been wrapped in patterned Christmas paper, forcing all the people working there to unwrap each and every one. (If they were to count the amount of ingredients, they would’ve realised that they were a few more than there were the previous day.)</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, somehow, a rumour had started that Santa himself was going to be visiting Abel. The children whispered happily about it, the parents all gave each other broad smiles, and everyone was trying to suss out who this Santa could be.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>That afternoon, hidden away in a barn as far away from the other residents of Abel as they could be, Three and Five were getting changed into their costumes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I still think I should be Santa.” Simon huffed from behind a stack of hay bales, his voice straining with exertion as he tried to get into his outfit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five replied, already dressed as Santa Clause, complete with a bushy white beard and big black boots (Evan wouldn’t miss his boots for one day, surely), “The Santa trousers were so short on you that most of your calves were showing. And the jacket showed your midriff. This is for the best.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s wrong with people seeing my wonderfully toned calves and midriff?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five rolled their eyes while fiddling with the fake beard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon’s head popped out from behind a hay bale to glare at his companion, “You just rolled your eyes, didn’t you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” Five replied coolly, “Now hurry up, the kids will be waiting already!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright!” Simon huffed, “I’m coming out.” He let out a heaving sigh as he wondered out from behind his hiding spot.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five let out a full belly laugh that would’ve rivalled Santa’s.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oi!” Simon shouted defensively over the sound of laughter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry!” Five choked out, “It’s just… Wow. And I thought the Santa outfit was short on you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was wearing a green and red elf dress that cut off at his mid-thigh, accompanied with an elf hat that had a golden bell on the end.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon folded his arms, then realised it made the skirt ride up even more, and brought his arms back down to his sides. Even in the low afternoon light, the redness on his cheeks was obvious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, come on,” Five said, walking up to their elf, “For someone who’s streaked multiple times-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is going to be in front of children!” Simon said indignantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah you’re right,” Five agreed solemnly, before breaking out into a grin, “They’re going to be scarred by your pasty legs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pasty?!” Simon cried out, “Hey, I-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Speaking of the children, we don’t want to keep them waiting, do we?” Five continued with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Simon let out a large exhale, “Fine. You’re right. Best get this over with.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five chuckled, “Aw, come on little elf. Cheer up. It’s Christmas!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At that, Simon perked up. “Yeah, I guess it is. Alright. Let’s put on the best show Abel’s ever seen.” He held out his arm for his partner in crime, who happily linked their arm with his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walked back towards the centre of Abel together, Simon’s hat jingling the whole way.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading! Happy holidays! &lt;3</p></blockquote></div></div>
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